


it's a lot easier to see what's been in front of you the whole time once you open your eyes

by protag



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Pining, Really just fluff, Tags will be added for each chapter, dead eichi grieving keito, implied sex, keito thinks too much, lots of guilt, pre relationship in first, rating doesn't really apply for the first chapter, relationship will develop romantically with each chapter, spice in the second chapter but not explicit, third chapter mushy feelings, unrequited keichi hinting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protag/pseuds/protag
Summary: A three chapter development of kurokei from friends to lovers. In which Keito can be really dumb and Kuro is far too patient for his own good.First chapter: light and soft. he's always there even if you're not paying close enough attention.Second chapter: everything gets intense all at once. this is what happens when you bottle up all your feelings.Third chapter: things still hurt but it's going to be okay. there's a happy ending for waiting it out.
Relationships: Hasumi Keito/Kiryuu Kurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When I hosted a survey around enstars fanfics kurokei come out as the ship people want to see more of the most so I'm happy to be helping out in that lol. I think I covered most things in the summary it's going to be a bit of a ride into getting kurokei together and happy as they deserve. Eichi will not be written in a negative light to address the side keichi references. the rating is because the second chapter will get a bit suggestive and mature but there won't be anything explicit.

Keito was always overworked. He had piles upon piles of responsibilities, part of it was work he gave himself. Part of it was dumped on him because he became known as someone who would get the job done. And of course there was a part of his work that was things he actively took on in the desire to lighten Eichi’s load.

Things were different to high school though, Keito understood better it wasn’t his responsibility to make things easier for Eichi all the time. The adult world didn’t leave a lot of room for that kind of self sacrificing behaviour anyway, which was a good kick to help Keito in thinking of himself and his future. And there was a lot of things Eichi did that he just had no say in whether he liked it or not.

His future with Akatsuki wasn’t exactly unstable, they were a strong unit and Rhythm Link was still a recognized name. At least for the time being they would be able to keep going strong, Keito expecting for them to be able to reach even greater heights once another year had passed and Souma was a graduate as well. School was a time consuming hurdle and even though Souma deserved to make the most of his last year it would be undeniably convenient to have one less schedule to work around. At least Yumenosaki was equipped for students to regularly be away for jobs anyway but there was a certain guilt that came with interrupting the boy's studies.

It was certainly an irony that crossed his mind more than once, Akatsuki initially was formed just to be used and to do Eichi’s dirty work. Not even to fight for something any of its members believed in. Keito often had been swept up in thoughts that told him he was wasting their potential, abusing the loyalty Kuro and Souma so freely gave him.

But they had continued to stay, finally getting it through to Keito that Akatsuki was no longer just someone’s weapon it was all of their dream.

It was truly a nice dream, one Keito was determined to not give up on.

But dreams couldn’t be achieved without effort, hence why Keito was once again always struggling under the weight of one job or another. He was proud to do it, and despite his track record was making sure to not let his health get affected by it.

Back at school because of Keito’s bad habits Akatsuki was limited in what idol activities they could do and their environment focused so much more performances rather than solo work his unit mates were frequently out of commission due to his need to prioritize student council work. It had been incredibly selfish but they always were understanding and never complained. 

Even so Keito regretted, he should have spent more time letting Souma shine and allowing Kuro to be a true idol, not one always covered in blood. Keito wasn’t exactly sure things could stay so innocent now they were in the real world, the entertainment industry wasn’t to be underestimated. But he kept trying to be optimistic about what their future could hold.

Maybe if they could have performed more, practiced more, built a bigger base, he wouldn’t have to feel so far behind other units. Akatsuki had been one of the top idol groups in Yumenosaki, a title they didn’t even defend all that well. When it came down to it Keito was a competitive man he liked to win and he wanted Akatsuki to stand above the rest. Souma and Kuro deserved that, no one worked harder than them as far as Keito was concerned.

There was just something boyish and pure about Keito’s desire to be able to chase after fine and take them down fairly, based on their own strength. He wanted to compete like that with Eichi, to really have the time of his life with the people most important to him. 

He didn’t have any personal feelings towards Eden but was always aware in the back of his mind that Nagisa and Hiyori were chosen to be by EIchi’s side in the way Keito had once assumed would be his role. Though his feelings of jealousy of having not been part of fine were long gone it could still feel satisfying to overtake them too and to prove himself.

Knights always seemed like they were on the verge of being their own undoing long before anyone else would be able to touch them. Admittedly Keito knew his seeing Leo as the biggest hurdle to face was exactly their problem, until they could get everyone to accept their new king it was going to seem like there was no stability in their unit.

He didn’t want to see any of their rival units fall apart naturally, not just limited to them. Even if it could be good for business to lose competitors Keito wanted a much more even and impressive battle. He wanted to genuinely fight and bring out the best in each other – that kind of competition.

Keito… He really loved being an idol with all his heart now. That’s all there was to it.

“You’ve been pulling some funny expressions Danna.” The amused rumble of Kuro’s voice startled Keito out of his thoughts, he’d been too deep in his head to even notice him arriving.

Keito had been seated in a common room of the dorms building, he was meant to be having a break and something to eat but had been sitting with some documents and neglecting to actually get himself anything or take an actual break.

He blinked, sniffing slightly suspicious at a cup of tea that had been placed before him, it was freshly steaming still so Keito quickly realized Kuro had gotten it for him.

“I was thinking. Was it really showing on my face?” Keito asked, reaching out to take the tea with a nod, “Thanks.”

Kuro wore an amused smile as he took a seat opposite Keito, “I was able to walk back and forth a couple a’ times without you even noticin’ me and each time you had a different expression. It was pretty funny.”

Keito huffed indignantly while straightening up his posture, placing his cup back down after a sip and noticing it seemed to have been quite some time since he actually made any progress on the paperwork he had with him.

Kuro cocked his head slightly, likely noticing the same thing, “You okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine. It wasn’t troubled thoughts or anything of the sort. I was just thinking about Akatsuki, our future. I want to do more, I want to climb to greater heights.” Keito said, deciding to leave out the part of just how much his mind still strayed to the past. This was the more important part after all.

“That so? You know me and Kanzaki will follow your lead. The bigger a star I get to be the more proud my sis can be to brag to her classmates that I’m her big bro.” Kuro said, Keito immediately snorting. 

“It’s good to be motivated.” Keito remarked.

Kuro’s grin spread further across his, seemingly proud of getting such a reaction out of him. “Nothing’s more motivating than makin’ people you care about smile.” Keito wasn’t sure if he said it on purpose but he felt a flush to his face and brought his face back to a stern expression.

Keito sat back a bit, “So what are you doing back here? Didn’t you have business today?” He asked, they each knew the other’s schedules well enough. It was easier for a smaller unit like Akatsuki, though they mostly did it to keep an eye on Souma and help him keep on top of it. He didn’t need it, they were just acting like over protective parents out of habit.

“Later and the job isn’t far so I’m just gonna hang back in my room until closer ‘till.” Kuro said.

“I didn’t mean to keep you then.” Keito said, encouraging Kuro to move on but the other didn’t budge.

Kuro shook his head, “I’m the one who chose to sit down. You don’t gotta apologize for problems that aren’t there.” Since their exchange hadn’t been a big deal Keito guessed Kuro’s advice was more general. Keito did have that habit of trying to bear the weight of the world on his shoulder, not that Kuro was all that different. Hypocrite.

Kuro looked to be making himself comfortable and joining him so Keito swallowed down any further insistence to Kuro to go knowing it would start to come across as rude or like he was trying to get rid of him. It wasn’t like Keito really minded his company, it was nice to just spend time with his unit mate especially as they were increasingly busy. Part of Keito just knew it would be hard to pack up the guilt and hesitation that had started to swirl up in his mind. 

Keito leaned forward in his seat again, trying to hunch over and focus on the documents he had with him once again only to find his head suddenly being pressed back as if to shove him to sit back again.

There was no other possible culprit so Keito looked up at Kuro in confusion, “What the hell was that?” Keito insisted, his being so caught off guard making him sound more cross than intended.

Kuro was wearing that expression on his face that spelled him being proud of himself thanks to something stupid or mischievous.

“Could tell just by looking at you that no work was getting done so may as well force you to actually take a break on your break.” Kuro said.

Keito felt a little stubborn at being called out but settled for muttering under his breath and picking his teacup up again to drain some more of it rather than answering him. Kuro laughed at the lack of response, not bothered by the moment of silliness, honestly glad to see any humour in him.

Keito paused watching Kuro get up and re-sit himself beside Keito as opposed to across from him any longer.

Before he could ask Kuro was speaking again, “Maybe it’s just me but you’re kind of like a book with some of your expressions. You’re fretting about something, you’ll go bald if you keep it up all the time and never talk to anyone.”

“It’s not like I never talk. And stop saying that, I’m not going bald at this age.” Keito retorted, a little prickly but it was hard to be genuinely frustrated with him.

They’d come such a long way from what Akatsuki had been in the beginning. He wasn’t just a commander forcing soldiers to take on dirty orders, they were equals. And as Kuro was proving they weren’t afraid to pull him back into line if he tried to run ahead forgetting all of that.

Keito’s fingers tapped against the glass of his cup, sinking back into the seat once again, jumping slightly feeling Kuro’s arm behind him. Kuro jerked a little himself but didn’t retract it. Keito decided against commenting.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I was thinking about Akatsuki. I want to repay you both for everything. I don’t want to just accept how things are. You deserve my full dedication after I spent so long staring everywhere but directly in front of me.” Keito said, admitting to the bulk of his thoughts. There was no point to dredging up each and every little thing he felt weighing him down, especially not when Kuro was looking at him like that was the answer he’d been expecting.

Kuro nodded saying, “You really are gonna go bald young.”

Keito had to resist the urge to toss his remaining tea at Kuro, that would not be a very mature response at all. He still scowled at the other though. 

“That joke wasn’t funny the first time and It’s not any funnier now.” Keito said, scolding coming easily to him.

Kuro snorted, “I’ll stop making the same jokes if you stop worrying about the same things. It’ll start to get insulting if you doubt me and Kanzaki too much. We mean it when we say we’re gonna stand by all decisions you make for Akatsuki and we’re certainly ready to fight at any time. Just don’t pick up your sword out of guilt.”

For someone who pitted himself as not all that intelligent Kuro had a real knack of getting right to what a person was thinking. Emotional intelligence was a lot more worthwhile than being booksmart. Keito’s grades didn’t ever keep him from hurting others with his carelessness.

Keito leaned forward putting the cup back down before settling back not minding the light weight of Kuro's arm against him now he was used to it, it was almost comforting even. “... Old habits aren’t easy to break.” Kuro’s point was made though. Keito would have to practice more self discipline.

“So long as you’re trying.” Kuro encouraged, startling Keito and preventing him from slipping back into his thoughts by tugging Keito closer to his body and starting to mess up his hair with his free hand. The arm that had been resting behind Keito was now holding him in place.

Keito squirmed a bit in the hold, “Just what are you doing?”

Another warm laugh fell from Kuro’s lips. It really would be a lot easier to get mad at him if he wasn’t so deserving of that kind of carefree happiness. If he didn’t have such an infectious smile.

“I’m just helping you relax. With that stick up your ass all the time you need all the help you can get.” Kuro said. His affection was somewhere between a head pat and a noogie and Keito was having none of it, swatting away at Kuro’s arms until he was released.

Kuro really had been more handsy and familiar lately, something Keito didn’t exactly know how to address but he didn’t hate it either. 

Despite himself Keito had to cough into his hand to hold down some laughter, he wasn’t about to encourage something so dumb but he could appreciate the humour of how it would look to come across the two senior members of Akatsuki almost wrestling on a couch. It would have been a lot less humorous had they actually been caught though, that sounded pretty mortifyingly embarrassing after all.

“I’ll stick with the pep talk I think.” Keito said, Kuro shrugging in response in a way that said it was his loss.

“S’pose you were never able to play around like that as a kid, huh? Tenshouin would have been even more fragile as a kid. Y’certainly never saw Itsuki joining me in the mud.” Kuro shifted topics suddenly earning a raised eyebrow from Keito.

Keito nodded, “Pretty much. If I ever took to throwing Eichi around I’d still be grounded now. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good strike sometimes.” He joked. 

Kuro let out a sigh of all things, wearing an expression Keito didn’t know how to begin placing. “I said you’re like a book sometimes, didn’t I?” He asked but didn’t elaborate any further aside from a muttering under his breath about walking into something.

Keito knew Kuro wasn’t Eichi’s biggest fan but he wasn’t as hostile to him as most people they’d hurt but something inside him told him not to ask questions. Kuro often made complicated expressions when Eichi was the topic not that they intentionally talked about him together that much.

“Nothing.” Kuro added all on his own, giving Keito a pat on the shoulder and making it clear he was moving on. “Anyway, now I’m looking at you, when was the last time you ate? It’s easier to focus on a full stomach.” He suggested and the atmosphere was back to normal.

Keito frowned a little, it was certainly a frown and not just a pout at being scolded. “I’m not that bad at managing my health anymore. I won’t be causing trouble for Akatsuki, we have a lot of work to do.” He argued. 

“So, you haven’t eaten recently then?” Kuro ignored the deflection.

Keito averted his gaze, “Breakfast wasn’t that long ago.” He reasoned.

Kuro stood up from the seat, tugging at Keito’s arm to insist he join him. “We’re having lunch then. I’m entertaining myself before my appointment and you’re not passing out from hunger.” He could really be pushy when he wanted to be.

Keito didn’t fight him though there were certainly a number of protests in his head it was hard to find free time with friends with how busy things had been that year. He scooped his documents up in one arm and held his teacup to get rid of it with the other before obediently following Kuro along to the kitchen. It would have been easier to just go and order food but it seemed like Kuro was in the mood to make something for them. Him and Kanzaki both really had the making of housewives had they lived any other life, Keito found himself thinking those kinds of thoughts in amusement often.

“Now that I’m thinking about it you’re the only one of us Akatsuki who is the little brother instead of the older one, right?” Kuro brought up, making small talk. “No wonder you’re so easy to spoil.”

Keito almost tripped over his own feet, he felt flush spread across his face, “I’m not a character like that at all, don’t say such weird things. You don’t need to come up with excuses to talk about being a big brother, if you want to discuss your sister I’ll listen.”

Kuro laughed again, “I wasn’t trying to tease you that time.” He insisted though Keito didn’t believe him for a second. “I’ll absolutely talk about her though.” He couldn’t resist after all.

They made it to the kitchen, Keito stood out of his way but kept him company as Kuro started on about his little sister and how strange the new distance between them was because of everything. It was understandable of course, things had been changing a lot and for so long Kuro had been focused on his family and stepping up for them. Caring just for them.

For a change Keito didn’t feel guilt at this kind of thought, that he was stealing away Kuro from the people important to him. He just felt a fresh motivation spring up in him, suddenly saying, “You’re making her damn proud, you said it yourself you’ll be a star for her. You won’t ever have to regret spending so much time on your career I promise that.”

It was really a lot easier to be kind to others than it was to give yourself any of the same understanding, wasn’t it? Keito could put himself down all he wanted in the lows of his mind but he’d be damned if he was going to let anyone important to him feel like they wasted their time. Kuro could be just as prone as he was to self deprecation and feeling like he was failing those around him. Maybe Keito would be a hypocrite for trying to lift him up but there was no way he couldn't defend Kuro.

Kuro looked a little startled, lost for words for a moment before a flustered smile broke out.

“Talking all dramatic like that suddenly… Don’t go assuming things, okay? I miss her but I’m never gonna regret choosing you. Er- Akatsuki. Anyway, go get us a seat I’ll tidy up then bring the food out.” Kuro advised. 

He brushed off Keito’s sentiment more or less but even though he wasn’t as good at reading people Keito could certainly tell Kuro seemed to be in a pretty good mood now. 

Maybe Keito would be able to feel the same lack of hesitation he wanted to see in others some day. For the time being, he could certainly accept that spending time in Kuro’s company helped to force away all the thoughts that wanted to bog him down. He wanted to do better for him, and he was going to do his best for that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I get he was always the light of your life or whatever but don’t go pretending things are only dim… Does it mean nothing to you if someone else sees you that same way?” Kuro challenged him, eyes shifting away not wanting to see how Keito took things. No, knowing Keito he wasn’t saying it clear enough at all anyway.

They always knew it was coming. If Eichi's condition being pushed to the edge wasn't obvious enough before the end you could really tell by looking at him. Kuro couldn't pretend they had been all that close but for better or worse he'd made himself involved in many people's lives.

Kuro felt cruel for worrying more for Keito's sake than he felt bad for Eichi slipping away from them at such a young age. Kuro did feel for him but something almost like spite had started to build in him watching Keito's condition get worse. Whenever news got out of Eichi getting worse Keito would neglect himself more and his own health took a dive almost as if he was trying to follow him.

There was no way Kuro could accept things staying like that and he was prepared to drag Keito back to them even if he’d start to hate Kuro for it. Part of Kuro had always accepted his feelings would never reach Keito and be returned. He’d live with that so long as he could watch Keito be happy so him being swallowed up in despair wasn’t something he would let slide. Kuro would put up with a lot of things but ont Keito being unhappy, never him struggling.

“I have no right to ask it and put so much pressure on you… But please take care of Hasumi-dono. I can think of no one better suited to saving him.” Souma pleaded through the phone, it still wasn’t his favourite method of communication but the old fashioned idol had made a lot of progress for the sake of convenience.

Kuro was standing outside the front of Keito’s and his shared apartment, he had a key so he could enter at any time but had hesitated once Souma had called, not wanting Keito to overhear them worrying for him.

It felt like a long time ago since they had picked a place out, just wanting an option that wasn’t going home to their families and not always staying in the Ensemble Square’s dorms. It was a bit of an unnecessary purchase but the idea had just been for a place to get away when needed. The door was always open to Souma as well but it had mainly been an investment between Keito and Kuro.

At the time Kuro had gotten himself overly excited thinking it might be the perfect place to finally get his feelings across to Keito and maybe change things between them. It sounded like a good idea in the beginning but then Kuro found himself too afraid, usually chickening out in his attempts to express how he felt and Keito was usually too dense to pick up on what he was trying to say. That part of him could be as endearing as it was completely frustrating.

Kuro could only smile though he was glad Souma wasn’t really there with him because it probably wouldn’t come across so well. “Saving is some pretty dramatic wordin’. Been spending too much with Ryuseitai? I don’t think my character is anything like that but I’ll do my best for him anyway.”

Kuro hadn’t thought he did the best job at reassuring but Souma hummed thoughtfully. “Even so I have faith in your ability. Your bond is not to be underestimated.” He’d insisted.

“So much for no pressure.” Kuro joked with a quick, “I’m kidding. Thanks for the pep talk, let me know when you’re free to stop by for a visit. I'll make a big meal for us. If nothing else he’s always been the type who acts tough for his juniors his pride might give him the kick in the ass he needs.”

With an exchange of goodbyes they hung up Kuro taking a moment longer to just stand outside the door sighing deeply. It wasn’t like it was the first time since the news broke or even just the funeral that Kuro had seen him but he still felt there was a lot riding on finally being able to get through to Keito that day.

Squeezing his hand tighter around the plastic bag full of food he had brought Kuro finally steeled his nerves and turned the door handle. It wasn’t even locked, sighing again already Kuro let himself in.

“Hey Danna, I’m here. Texted but you never answered.” Kuro called out from the entrance as he slipped off his shoes. He couldn’t hear a response which made him nervous listening out for sounds of life he entered looking around for Keito.

Kuro didn’t have to stay on edge for too long at least, finding Keito sprawled out on the living room couch, glasses on the coffee table and a bottle of what stunk like alcohol cradled in his arms. Kuro wrinkled his nose, stepping through both cans of more drink and art supplies. 

“C’mon… Don’t tell me you’ve been like this the past couple days?” Kuro asked, Keito not stirring even as he put the food down on the coffee table and crouched in front of him.

Shaking his head slightly Kuro reached a hand out, pinching down over Keito’s nose waiting a couple of seconds before the sleeping beauty rose. His eyes were wide and he jumped up startled taking a big breath, bottle carelessly falling to the floor. Kuro had winced at watching it go but luckily it didn’t break in the fall.

Kuro gave him a patient smile as Keito found his bearings and remembered where he was before settling on looking at Kuro irritated. “There’s better ways to wake someone up.” Keito scolded.

“Maybe someone shouldn’t have drank himself unconscious in the first place.” Kuro threw it right back at him. As concerned as he was for Keito he knew the response couldn’t be to coddle him.

Keito grumbled, “I was drinking and then just happened to pass out.” He argued childishly, frowning as Kuro snorted. 

“Anyway, go clean yourself up. I’ll tidy up and heat up the dinner I brought.” Kuro told him, Keito hesitating like he might object but ultimately just quietly thanking him. 

He was acting a little childish and sulky but it was way better than the way he’d been when he first got the news. Completely silent, staring dead ahead and almost entirely unresponsive. Whenever you forced him to acknowledge you he’d just shake his head and ask to be left alone. That was why Kuro couldn’t feel bad even finding Keito in such a state.

Kuro relaxed when he heard the sound of the shower starting up in the other room. Though that was followed by a nervous swallow realizing Keito must have carelessly decided to shower with the door open. 

A little more irritated he started to throw some of the cans away. Kuro could let a lot of things pass him by but even he had his limits. Some part of him was always guilty thinking he didn’t deserve good things, that’s exactly why he’d never expected things to change regardless of his own feelings. That didn’t mean Kuro wasn’t going to be frustrated having everything he couldn’t have waved in front of his face.

Leaving the rest of the mess once he’d cleared a proper path to the couch he heated up their food. He’d made a spicy ramen for Keito cooking it with enough punch to force some energy into his friend if nothing else was working. A more mild beef broth for himself and had already sat himself on the couch digging in when a slightly wet Keito came out to join him, he seemed to not even have attempted to dry his hair.

Keito sat next to him, their knees slightly knocking together and he took a sniff into the air. “Did you make it?” He asked before leaning forward and taking his bowl with a thanks.

“Not just me. Some of those kids from Ra*bits saw me in the kitchens and insisted on helping when I said who it was for.” Kuro made a point to tell him. They were getting a bit old to be called kids now but it was just out of habit.

Keito hesitated no doubt being a little swayed immediately upon hearing he caused troubles for others. “It’s good.” 

They spent some time eating in silence just sitting together until Kuro got tired of watching water drop onto Keito’s shoulder and with the click of his tongue reached out to rub the droplets off his shoulder. It wasn’t like it was on Keito’s bareskin so Kuro reasoned it wasn’t too invasive but Keito jumped and looked at him anyway.

“Ah… Right, I didn’t want to keep you waiting so didn’t dry up properly.” Keito admitted though Kuro could tell it was likely only half the reason with the other half being a lack of self care.

Kuro shrugged, putting his now empty dish out of the way and back onto the coffee table. “You don’t owe me any explanations.” He assured him, little stuff like that Keito could get away with. “I do want to know about all the papers all around though. That’s your art supplies, right?”

Keito seemed to tense for a moment before leaning forward to put his own bowl of at least half eaten food down. He was quiet, what Kuro could see of his expression was stern.

“I wanted to draw. I wasn’t entirely sure what but… I thought trying to put my feelings into art would help. It’s mostly made me start to hate everything I do.” Keito said, his frown growing as he spoke. “At first I didn’t know what I was trying to draw and kept giving up after merely sketching. Then when I started to get some ideas my hands would shake so much I couldn’t draw properly.”

Keito’s hands were shaking now Kuro could see it clearly. “Though the alcohol probably wasn’t helping.” Keito added, it sounded like it could have been a joke and Kuro really didn’t want to think about him drinking himself so stupid.

There was nothing Kuro could say to comfort him, if Keito was going to be frustrated because he couldn’t get his feelings out he couldn’t change that. Though he was definitely going to bother him enough to try and push him towards more healthy outlets for that distress.

It hurt to watch Keito become so unraveled letting out a frustrated breath Kuro reached out and took Keito’s hands. Keito was staring at him looking lost but Kuro kept his eyes on their connected hands squeezing Keito’s until he stopped shaking but even then he wouldn’t let him go.

“You know your life doesn’t end with his. That was a dumb kid Hasumi in the past who didn’t think about living outside of his needs, right? What about all your big talk about reaching the top with Akatsuki? Me and Kanzaki are still waiting on you.” Kuro said, trying desperately to get through to him to remind Keito there was a bigger picture.

Kuro told himself that he was doing it for Keito but he still felt selfish in his methods. Even now he was hoping he could become important enough to Keito to be able to save him. He’d called it dramatic wording and it’s not like he really had it in him to be a savior; he just wanted to change Keito from the shell of himself that he was at risk of becoming.

Keito looked properly annoyed at him for that, breathing out in frustration and trying to pull his hands away from Kuro’s but he wouldn’t let him go. “It’s not that simple you just don’t get it. If I could see what I’m supposed to do from here I wouldn’t be such a damn mess wasting yours and Kanzaki’s time.” He argued pointlessly.

“Yeah? Tell me again how I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone important to you.” Kuro challenged. 

Kuro felt hurt to point it simply despite knowing to expect Keito to be a bit unreasonable. Pulling a leg onto the couch and turning side on to face Keito properly he tried not to react as he watched Keito’s eyes travel to the ring hanging off Kuro’s neck before looking down ashamed and seemingly settling down.

Keito stopped trying to pull his hands away but Kuro let them go anyway, sighing as he tilted his head forward resting his forehead against Keito’s with closed eyes. Keito stiffened slightly but wasn’t objecting or pushing him away, Kuro was glad he’d closed his eyes because he didn’t want to know how expression Keito was wearing.

“Idols were his dream. Isn’t being one with us enough? You know even though he’s gone he won’t be forgotten. Please don’t let us lose you too.” Kuro pleaded with him, his heart heavy.

He’d wanted to be enough to bring Keito back but he’d use Eichi if he had to, no matter how much it made Kuro’s heart sting with the idea he’d always be second place. Second place to someone who wasn’t even in the race.

“It’s not like I never knew it was coming… He’d probably be laughing at me for being so upset anyway. I just… Feel wrong without him. Incomplete.” Keito admitted dejectedly.

Kuro wanted to be understanding of course but even his patience has a limit. He sat back just a bit enough to open his eyes and be able to meet Keito’s easily. “Then stop thinking about the big picture stuff. Running away from the rest of your life sure as hell won’t be how you find the answers.” He scolded him.

Keito didn’t even flinch but at least his quiet seemed to show that he was reflecting on what he was told.

Kuro had definitely gotten himself too worked up, far too frustrated to be giving Keito delicacy he might need but his own feelings were getting continuously hurt through all of it too. Moving his hands to rest on Keito’s shoulders he again startled the other man into really looking at him.

“I get he was always the light of your life or whatever but don’t go pretending things are only dim… Does it mean nothing to you if someone else sees you that same way?” Kuro challenged him, eyes shifting away not wanting to see how Keito took things. No, knowing Keito he wasn’t saying it clear enough at all anyway.

It wasn’t the time for talk like that Kuro was starting to find himself pretty pathetic but he heard Keito sniffle clearly getting emotional again and it broke something in Kuro. That something seemed to be his resolve to sit back because Kuro moved right into kissing Keito.

There was a muffled sound no doubt being Keito trying to say something but he had awfully quickly given up on expressing himself in return for kissing back like his life depended on it. The mood that night seemed to be continuously changing on a dime and Kuro knew he was supposed to be the reasonable one between them in that moment but he’d been patient so long he was at his limit.

Kuro really couldn’t be blamed for Keito deciding to crawl into his lap, kissing him deeper and more than obviously settling himself into a slow rut into the taller man. Kuro didn’t feel like he was in control of his body as he stripped Keito of his shirt starting to feel over his smooth body. 

Keito shoved away at him only once to separate their lips and staring back at Kuro with alarmed concern. “I… I can’t in good faith say I’m acting reasonably. Or even if I’m all that sure of how I feel.” He told him honestly.

Kuro was certain pure wasn’t the word for Keito but there was an undeniable honesty about him. He was a good person, a much better person than Kuro was especially in that moment where he felt like he was doing little more than taking advantage of his grieving friend but Keito was encouraging him.

“That’s fine. Might be selfish so ‘scuse me and all but I’ve never been one to make smart decisions. All I know is right now I wanna show you how right things can be again.” Kuro told him, inwardly cringing a little at his own wording. He wasn’t a smooth talker but it seemed to be enough for Keito who gave him a small nod despite the worry in his eyes.

Keito let out a startled yelp as instead of resuming kissing him there Kuro used his impressive strength to wrap his arms around Keito and lift him up. Sensing how things were going Keito wrapped his legs around Kuro to better support himself even if Kuro still got another smack for not giving him any better warning. 

Carrying him to the bedroom with a grin Kuro’s heart flattered as he saw he had earned the smallest fond smile back from Keito. Things weren’t going to be easy but knowing that it wasn’t impossible to turn things around and there was even a chance of going towards a future Kuro had only dreamed of? It was an improvement to how he had imagined things going while standing outside dreading coming in.

Kuro woke up before Keito did. He wasn't surprised the other was so exhausted. That was no brag on his physical abilities just knowing how worn out Keito had been in general lately.

Kuro was holding Keito tightly not wanting to let him go now he was within his grasp. If it was all a dream that was going to be shattered by Keito being more sober and shameful Kuro would take his loss but until that moment came he would enjoy every last second of what they’d had.

Keito shifted slightly from where he laid but ultimately decided to toss his head back and squint to see Kuro rather than rolling over while trapped under his arms. Kuro’s heart stopped since it was pretty much the moment of truth.

“I’m still tired.” Keito told him with a groan, Kuro letting out a nervous laugh. That wasn’t much of a response but Keito didn’t seem horrified to be laying naked with him so that was a good sign.

“Hungry?” Kuro asked him to make the most of the intimacy and rub a warm hand over Keito’s exposed skin. After playfully squeezing Keito’s stomach when it seemed he wasn’t getting an answer Keito did sharply slap his hand making Kuro laugh much more naturally.

Keito huffed giving him a disapproving look, “I’m not sure.” He told him seemingly still mostly half asleep.

Kuro nodded, accepting the response and moving in closer to hold Keito tighter while he could. “We’ll figure out the answer then.” He told him despite his mind being on much more than just breakfast. No matter what state they were in he wanted Keito to rely on him, to let him lead him forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bigger gap than intended for continuing this story but the sappy happy ending should be coming decently quickly in this month !! to support my writing as always please check out my writing acc @saltysugi


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t deserve you after everything.” Keito said suddenly, his thoughts slipping past his lips almost without thought until Kuro leaned forward and flicked him on the forehead. 
> 
> Shaking his head slightly and looking at him exasperated Kuro challenged him, “Aren’t we getting a bit old for that kind of talk now? If you talk like that I’ll think you want to get rid of me.”
> 
> Keito immediately stood up in place, “That will never be true. Don’t even think about leaving” He’d said it with such force Kuro could only blink before red covered his face and he was laughing in a mixture of embarrassment and happiness.

Keito couldn't even pretend he pulled himself together anything even resembling quickly. For a long time he had felt lost, unsure of what he was meant to be doing or where to go next. Just like they had promised Souma and Kuro had stubbornly dragged him out of his dazed existence being lights so bright he couldn't ignore them and found his way again.

As much as Keito sometimes felt shame for having to burden others so heavily that guilt turned into a motivation to repay those he cared about. To show them that he wouldn’t waste their love and concern. Naturally that sentiment was stronger for Kuro than anyone else.

There had been a number of times where Keito felt the pain was unbearable and he hated that Kuro was staying by him. Thinking that he didn’t deserve him and that their relationship was just another way for him to abuse Kuro’s kindness. 

They fought more than once, over those feelings and other unexpected conflicts just bubbling up. Like some kind of ugly threat Keito would mention putting an end to Akatsuki and Kuro in return threatened him with his fists. Not that it ever became a brawl but they really did fight like they were still stuipid kids with too much pent up energy.

But despite how volatile things seemed at the height of those confused, terrible feelings just like they said they would, they saw Keito through it. They got through the long painful night and were able to stay together, watching the beautiful sunrise on a new day. They were able to continue walking forward together.

It was in Keito’s nature to make things overly romantic, he was sure his expressions of grief and struggles weren’t anything special but it had been formative for Keito. Shaping him into the person he would have to be from now on. 

A moment he felt he had really noticed how far he had come was when fine announced they would be resuming activities. Keito had assumed it would send himself going right back to square one, that his wounds would be reopened. 

It had screamed at him of course, that Eichi wasn’t there but he was okay. Kuro had awkwardly tried to bring up the news obviously wanting to know how Keito had felt about it but he’d been able to cut him off saying he was fine. It hit him in that moment of reassuring Kuro that he had meant it.

Kuro’s hug of relief had been a bit too close to smothering him but Keito had been undeniably flustered at how such a simple acknowledgement affected him. Kuro really cared about him.

Whenever Keito pondered on just how long he’d been oblivious to Kuro’s feelings that was another thing to feel guilty about. While Keito initially hadn’t been sure how a transition from friends to something more romantic it did start to happen bit by bit.

Trying to figure out how they should adjust the way they address each other, trying to find time for dates between their busy schedules and the whole taboo of idols not meant to be dating in the first place.

Looking back it seemed like an obvious answer but the best way for things to change between them was to let it happen naturally and unfiltered. That was helped by Souma’s sometimes a little too enthusiastic support of their relationship. 

Initially Keito found himself pained by the way Souma would get flustered entering a room after them, being far too loud when asking if he had interrupted them. Keito didn’t even want to reminisce on the kind of reaction they would get when Souma did happen to catch a glimpse of affection shared between the two.

“You’re pulling some funny faces again Danna.” Kuro’s too familiar voice snapped Keito back out of his thoughts. He really did get lost in his thoughts too easily.

Keito huffed, straightening himself up and looking back up at Kuro who sat him at their table. A lunch was set up in their backyard courtesy of Keito who had only been waiting on Kuro to return from ducking out on Keito’s request.

Keito had insisted on handling lunch despite being the weaker cook between them forcing Kuro out of the house all during his preparations. He’d already told Kuro ahead of time what he was making it so it wasn’t for the point of a surprise just to guarantee his partner wouldn’t give him a hand (or have to see if he messed anything up and had to remake elements.).

“Brought the drink you asked for. It’s a bit early to start drinking though, isn’t it?” Kuro asked, pulling his phone out from his pocket and sitting it on the table out of the way so he could sit more comfortably.

Keito adjusted his glasses not acknowledging his response, “I thought we were onto first name’s now. If you’re going back to calling me like that then I get to call you a muscle head.” He scolded.

Kuro laughed, “I’m mostly out of the habit so cut me some slack. It sounds like you just want to insult me.” He was accused and Kuro wasn’t entirely wrong.

Keito’s stomach flipped as Kuro leaned forward on his hand, gazing at him with such a fond and loving expression. That was the kind of look that made Keito think he should have realized a long time ago how he felt.

Though he knew it was pointless to consider what ifs he did sometimes wonder if things would have been considerably different if he realized sooner. What a relationship would have been like when they were younger and even more stupid than they were now. If things would have burned hotter or fizzled out because they didn’t let those feelings breathe between all the other mess of emotions and personal struggles they’d been dealing with.

“Anyway we should eat before it gets cold. I might not be near your level but I did a good job.” Keito asserted. 

If making something with love was meant to make a dish taste better in the least he had that part down. He’d put care into the dish and even wasted time making it presented as pretty and fancy as he was able to pull off.

Kuro nodded, eyeing the tender cooked meat, sauce and side dishes with an eager eye. It really was simple, almost too simple for the fuss he was making.

The truth of the matter was that it was more than just a romantic lunch. Not that much about the setting was romantic aside from the sentiment and making time for each other but simple never hurt. 

The idea of doing anything with too much dramatic flair wasn’t Keito’s style so this was about just as much that Kuro could always expect. Lucky for Keito, Kuro was happy with simple things. Happy to just be with him, spending their time together and making memories. Happy memories could almost make him forget about the bad, the wasted times and the stupid decisions. 

He’d never be able to make up for all the mistakes he’d made in his youth but somehow he still had been able to find happiness.

“I don’t deserve you after everything.” Keito said suddenly, his thoughts slipping past his lips almost without thought until Kuro leaned forward and flicked him on the forehead. 

Shaking his head slightly and looking at him exasperated Kuro challenged him, “Aren’t we getting a bit old for that kind of talk now? If you talk like that I’ll think you want to get rid of me.”

Keito immediately stood up in place, “That will never be true. Don’t even think about leaving” He’d said it with such force Kuro could only blink before red covered his face and he was laughing in a mixture of embarrassment and happiness.

“What’s that all about? Not that I’m not flattered but come on…” Kuro said while grinning ear to ear.

Keito was embarrassed by having his feelings laughed at like that and huffed, rather than answering he started to dig into his own plate of food. Nothing mind blowing but it really was a solid dish and best of all it wasn’t overcooked.

Kuro laughed at him a little longer but ultimately did join him in eating, after a couple bites he hummed impressed. “You’re getting better. It’s nice. Thanks for this.”

Keito felt overly proud of the praise, it was simple words but they were coming from someone who had considerably better cooking skills from himself.

“I’d cook more if you let me.” Keito insisted but there wasn’t any need, Kuro just liked to do it and he usually got off work before Keito. Waiting around for each other to eat together was regularly pointless thanks to Keito having to do paperwork well into the night during especially busy periods even if such tasks didn’t really need to be handled by him.

Being a workaholic is probably one of those things that was never going to change about Keito. In that same vein Kuro being overly considerate to the point of trying to do all that he could himself wasn’t something that had changed either.

The house they shared now was different from the one they bought when they were living together in the beginning of their relationship. They had found somewhere a little closer to nature as Keito had been craving it and it would be convenient for when they started to transition out of the spotlight. 

The fact that they had such a nice garden area to eat out in was due to Kuro’s keeping himself busy. He wasn’t much for interior design but had set up a nice area for them to sit in, great for hosting outside dinner parties. They even had a modest garden though it had taken a while for things to grow and they were far from being self-sufficient when it came to vegetables but they were determined.

It was all so domestic. They had always joked about Akatsuki being like a family for each of them and while children weren’t in the picture they really had made a home. Keito craved their familiar house, the kitchen that always had something cooking. The garden that hadn’t quite taken shape, the dirt that they could never fully get out of the entrance no matter how many times Keito swept up the place. 

Being in their bed, trapped between Kuro’s arms. Arguing about whether it was hot or cold and if they didn’t need the blankets. The laundry piling up when they had both been back and forth too much due to work and having to spend whole weekends to catch up and clean everything.

They were the things that had become so normal to Keito and now they were the precious memories he didn’t want to lose. As much as Keito was proud of his career as an idol and loved the stage he was enjoying these parts just as much and often more.

“You’re lost in thought again.” Kuro pointed out after clapping his hands, he was saying it casually but he seemed to be worried. “Something bothering you?” He asked. 

Keito shook his head quickly. “No, nothing like that but I am overthinking. Sorry, I thought I would have it all sorted out by now and yet I still feel like I don’t know what to say.” He said vaguely.

Kuro was clearly confused and Keito had to fight a smile at seeing Kuro had gotten clumsy in his eating leaving some sauce smeared on his face. If Keito had to stop inner monologuing then something Kuro had to work on was definitely his table manners.

Keito reached out with a napkin, wiping at Kuro’s mouth. His boyfriend obediently leaned forward to let Keito wipe him clean staring at him expectantly for a better explanation.

“Basically I’ve been thinking a lot. Nothing bad.” Keito clarified quickly.

Kuro nodded and sat back up. “Want to share what you’re thinking about?” He finally prompted making it clear the subject wasn’t being dropped. There was no point putting it off any further.

“You. Us. That kind of thing.” Keito said only having Kuro laugh at him again because it wasn’t any clearer. 

Keito adjusted his position in his seat, he was trying to keep a poker face because the sudden build up of nerves rushing through him threatened to be overwhelming. “Thinking about how I love you and I’m thankful for you. That even if I try to be expressive be it with art or honesty or just acts of love none of them seem to be enough to express it all.”

Kuro wasn’t expecting an answer like that it seemed, his expression getting more bashful as he listened. In the least he wasn’t the only one uncomfortably flustered by having to be so direct. 

“So your answer now is just to blurt everything out?” Kuro checked with him.

Keito raised his chin defiantly. “Apparently so. It’s too hard to get anything past you for more subtle elaborate gestures and I detest big displays. I tell you I love you every day so just saying it again won’t be special the way this I love you should be. And-”

Keito was rambling now. It was like he was venting his frustrations at Kuro more than anything but as always Kuro was unbothered, without any hesitation he just accepted his overly serious and fussy self.

Kuro was definitely his opposite when it came to these things. He acted on how he felt rather than overthinking. He kept things simple and seemed to be happy with even repetitive gestures of showing they cared. While Keito could go on for hours Kuro tended to remain a man of few words. Words and sentiments were Keito’s thing, actions and impulse was Kuro.

The easiest way to put an end to Keito’s rambling was to kiss him and that truly was Kuro’s favourite and go-to method which he certainly didn’t hesitate before relying on. He was doing it again, making Keito melt against his lips as they kissed for what felt like an eternity. 

“Better?” Kuro asked.

It was Keito’s turn to laugh stiffly that time. “Is that meant to be some kind of magic? My head isn’t any less clear and it’s precisely because of that. Because you’re always like this.”

Kuro sat back from him having leaned over the table to kiss him. “Like what? Was tha’ the wrong thing to do now?” He asked more than a little lost. 

That was his own fault for not explaining things properly but Keito had decided he’d just embarrass himself if he had to try and explain all the things he’d been thinking about. There was a reason all his attempts to write down his thoughts just ended up becoming wasted paper thrown away to never be seen again.

“It wasn’t wrong. It was right. You don’t think so highly of yourself but it feels like you’ve always known the right thing to do. For me, to me and that I can’t even begin to repay you. I know you weren’t doing it for thanks or anything like that but I don’t mean it that way either.” Keito tried to explain while shaking his head.

Kuro reached out to grab Keito’s hand that had been sitting on the table, holding it. “I get a lot of stuff must be running through your mind but I have no idea what you’re getting at. Think ya can make it simple for a muscle head like me?” He asked.

Keito felt his lips twitch but he didn’t allow himself to smile at that. How would he put it all simply? He hadn’t succeeded before so he would have to try doing it in a way he wouldn’t usually attempt.

“Then I’ll forget about all the feelings parts and say it bluntly.” Keito started with, taking a breath and turning on to face Kuro. “Don’t laugh. You laugh too much.” He said defensively.

Kuro smiled but he kept himself from laughing to his credit. “Enough with the suspense.” He urged.

“You’re always taking care of me and supporting me. Even if I say I wish to do it back for you and to make up for being such a burden to you the words aren’t enough. Words, songs, drawings or cooking none of it is enough. So I want a promise to be enough. I want this action to be enough.” Keito said, his voice sounded so far away but he knew it was still him saying these things.

His body felt stiff and slow, the terror of the vulnerability in what he was doing of course but he wasn’t letting it stop him. Keito took his hand from Kuro who was watching him without blinking waiting for the action. 

Keito had told himself not to do such a cliche but his body was moving before he could help it, walking over and lowering himself down onto one knee before Kuro. Despite the nerves he’d been feeling Keito’s hands were surprisingly steady as he pulled a small box from his pocket.

Kuro looked like he wasn’t even breathing, Keito was concerned but he couldn’t stop now. He opened the box showing off the simple but beautiful ring inside. Something too fancy and gaudy wouldn’t have fit either of them but this had been perfect to the point Keito had immediately stopped when he found it and had to buy it on the spot.

He hadn’t been thinking about marriage until that point but once he had it in his hands he knew he wanted to at least ask.

“Kuro, I’ve been stupid about a lot of things but I’m pretty sure of this. I’ve wasted a lot of time so it’s about time I make the most of having you and start to treat you right. If you’ll let me… Let me be your husband.” Keito asked.

Kuro did laugh despite the request but with that laughter came tears. Pure and honest reactions from the bottom of the heart showing a happiness Keito had never seen from his partner. Kuro’s face was as red as his hair and in his very Kuro way rather than answering he forcefully pulled Keito up by the shirt collar so he could kiss him.

It was a fiery kiss, passionate and almost too powerful that Keito thought he might get dizzy. Luckily Kuro let them separate for air, even if he stole a few more soft kisses from Keito before he answered.

“Dropping something like that on me out of nowhere… How am I meant to give any answer but yes? Can’t pretend I know how to be a decent husband but I’m going to be yours.” Kuro said with confidence but his cheeks were still rosy and there was a shortness to his breath that gave away his nerves.

Keito’s hands felt clumsy suddenly as he took the ring from its case and put it on Kuro’s hand. Jewellery suited him despite his more rough image, Keito felt that way at least. It had been a long time since Kuro could fairly be compared to a thug. He was instead just the most beautiful man Keito knew, both inside and out was something unfairly close to perfection.

Kuro whistled looking at it, using a free hand to wipe away the stray tears that had gathered from his over reaction.

“Never pictured myself getting married. Couldn’t say I imagined myself doing a lot of things. You think you owe me but… You being in my life and lovin’ me like this is all the repayment I need. Gonna force you to get used to that answer now, hubby.” Kuro told him watching Keito as he stood up again.

Kuro reached out to hold onto his hands so he couldn’t retreat away. Kuro smiled at him, a closed eyed smile more angelic than he had any right being. Keito wanted to scold him and argue but instead he just smiled softly back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> third and final chapter !! happy endings aren't something i dabble in much (lol) but i hope this was satisfying and cute. they're dumb and in love and sometimes that ends up okay.

**Author's Note:**

> as always to support me the best way is to follow my writing twitter @saltysugi with my writing schedule expect this work to be fully done in around two months?


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